Monday, September 16, 2013

A change of pace

I've been feeling a bit 'off' for the last few days. I may work from home but I also work seven days a week and am 'on call' from 6am Monday to Saturday until 9pm (when I turn my phone onto silent). Even when nothing is actually needing my attention, that level of being 'on' can eventually become quite draining, especially when you've got a sore throat and a bug that you're trying to shake off.

I felt like I was moving two steps forward, two steps back. That's a lot of energy wasted for just going nowhere but I wasn't really sure how to break out of it. As luck would have a set of events transpired which meant I wasn't going to have to work Sunday evening. I had to take a couple of calls and make a couple of calls but that was it. The knowledge that the whole day was mine, largely uninterrupted, was something magical and I made the most of Sunday- I replenished my soul, I filled it to the brim.

Ubiquitous heavily-filtered Instagram picture
Now that may sound really spiritual and deep but the reality is- I replenished my soul in the cheesiest of ways, with things I'm mostly ashamed to admit to:

I slept in
I made pancakes for breakfast. With sprinkles in the batter
I watched far too much tv, things I wasn't even interested in.
I ate a fastfood burger for lunch. On my bed. While watching a dvd. 
I napped
I ran around the park with the girls for a couple of hours
Made dinner for the girls, had a glass of Baileys&milk for my dinner.
I went to bed early, read part of a book then fell asleep early.

In fact the only productive things I did all day were to load the dishwasher and rescue a puppy that ran onto the road on our way back from the park.

Honestly, it was like I rebelled against everything I believe I am and want to be. But it was everything I needed. It was like I re-calibrated. 

It reminded me that I unload and reload the dishwasher forty thousand times a week because I want to, because I like clean dishes and a tidy kitchen.
I choose tidying up over tv because I want to.
I eat healthy, nutritious foods because I want to.
I get up early because I like to get things done instead of laying there thinking about getting things done.

It reminded me that the life I live is the life I have chosen. Sure, this past week has been a bit miserable with the spectre of a cold hanging over me but for the most part, my life is the way it is because I have chosen it and I can also choose to change it. Backing off from my responsibilities felt indulgent but it also reminded me of the rewards I reap from those responsibilities. 

Heh, I guess my slothful Sunday ended up being kind of spiritual after all!

Laura xx

P.S:~ Please don't tell my Mum I ate Hungry Jacks in bed. She would die of shame. My Dad, on the other hand, would just wonder why he hadn't thought of it first. 


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